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Simpler and more valuable than any pick up seduction book you might find; this is truly a gem. A concise and effective guide on how to connect to, interact with and influence other people. The most basic principles taught by Dale Carnegie in How to Win Friends and Influence People apply to business, and relationships just as much as they do to other areas of life. A must read!

If you somehow make the big mistake and never pick this jewel up, at least.. “remember that a person’s name is to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language!”

Amazon.com Review:

“This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to “the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people.” He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasizes fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated. Carnegie says you can make someone want to do what you want them to by seeing the situation from the other person’s point of view and “arousing in the other person an eager want.” You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offense or arousing resentment. For instance, “let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers,” and “talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.” Carnegie illustrates his points with anecdotes of historical figures, leaders of the business world, and everyday folks.” –Joan Price

How to Win Friends and Influence People on Amazon.com

This is a great opportunity, especially for you new guys, to meet people in the community and get some very valuable information. This is an event where everyone can come and hang out, play pool, ask questions to some of the more advanced guys, and meet some new wings.

Date: Sunday June 27th
Time: 2pm-4:00pm
Location: TBA but will be in Kirkland this time.
Cost: FREE OF COURSE!

For more information click here

This is one of the books which will absolutely change your life. It has been described as  “a bold map for traversing the masculine psyche”

King Warrior Magician Lover first takes on the difficult task of separating “man from the boy” by excavating psychological facts, examining the symbolism and history in various cultures, and by drawing references in everything from ancient fables to modern movies.

Authors Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette then identify four archetypes of masculine energies giving familiar examples from myth and

literature:

the Lover, brimming with vitality and sensitivity;

the Magician, guider of the processes of inner and outer transformation;

the selfless and wise King identified with Adam or primordial man;

and the Warrior, whose energies often go awry in destructive activity.

For each archetype, two shadow poles are discussed. In the case of the Shadow King, The Tyrant is described as the active pole, and The Weakling as the passive pole.

This book has helped me tremendously in different stage of my life. Over the next few posts, I will share my notes on each of the four archetypes. Though my notes will not do it justice as the King Warrior Magician Lover  is an eloquent, complete story to be read on its own.

King, Warrior, Magician, Lover:

Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine

The next Seattle Lair meeting is on Sunday May 23rd, 2010 at 2pm. Multiple speakers will be giving talks on different subjects, and there will be a Question and Answers period.

For more information, please visit the private events forum,  Click Here

Allen Say is a Asian American author and illustrator best known for his book Grandfather’s Journey, a picture book detailing his grandfather’s voyage from Japan to the United States and back again, which won the 1994 Caldecott Medal.

Below are some of his excellent quotes that one of the Seattle Lair members, Andy Anderson shared with us:

“To the human brain, the more simple something is said, the more power it has to affect. The longer & more confusing a sentence is, the less power it has. SHORT, CLEAR sentences penetrate the brain.”
“One of the great turn ons in the world is a person who needs nothing from us.”
“The world is a constant reflection of how we think & feel about ourselves & products or business. And it all places the exact same value on your head as you do. Set that value high & the world pays it. Set that value low & the world pays that to.”
“When someone has a powerful self-confidence, when they place great value on themselves regardless of what they may have or look like, others around them at some point are literally “forced” to view them in the same way as having value. As having great worth.”
“Adopt a state of mind that is unwaveringly certain that everything you do has great value. Talk like it, walk like it and write like it.”
“A good story should alter you in some way; it should change your thinking, your feeling, your psyche, or the way you look at things. A story is an abstract experience; it’s rather like venturing through a maze. When you come out of it, you should feel slightly changed.”

This is definitely not a new idea for people with some understanding of psychology or neuro-linguistic programming.
Comments, questions, suggestions are welcome.
——
Let’s say you decide to pick up the violin, or any musical instrument.
Before you hold the instrument in your hand, you might have heard what it sounds like, but you have no idea what it will feel like in your hands. You might speculate, or think that you know how to hold it based on how you see other musicians holding a violin, but you really have no idea.

This is analogous to not knowing what to expect at all the very first time you approach a girl with the intent of picking her up. You might’ve seen other people do it, and you might even speculate what she might say or how it might develop, but you really have no idea.

This stage is called Unconscious Incompetence. In short, you don’t know some things, and you don’t know that you don’t know them.

——

Then you might take some violin lessons, and the instructor might help you hold the instrument with correct form, and play a few notes. A friend, wing or coach might take you out, and have you approach a few groups of girls.. and voila! it’s like jumping into the water not knowing how cold it is. It’s great man! You feel good practicing the same 3 notes and making a short melody, or just realizing that “hey, I’m talking to girls! I’m meeting new people now”

And you start working on your sticking points, or ask your violin instructor for feedback, and more complex sequences to practice. In short, you know that you don’t know, and that you’re learning. This is conscious incompetence! and to me, it is the most fun stage of the game

——

Well, sooner or later, you’ll play a whole song on the violin in front of a group of friends, or fellow musicians. Sooner or later you’ll think about joining a local symphony and taking your musical skills to the next level. You’ll approach girls regularly, get phone numbers, go on dates, and might even be dating a few girls at the same time. When a girl says something that catches you off guard, you’ll be thinking “hmm, is that a shit test?” and then you’ll remember or rather logically think about how to respond. You might be happy with the level of your success, and even decide to quit the game, or put the violin down and move on to another instrument. Yet, there’s that voice in the back of your head that goes “hmm, there’s a 3 set over there, and an HB9.75 at the blah blah” – which is a-okay.

So, you’ve reached a level of competence which is allowing you to enjoy the fruits of your labour… play a tune on the violin, or bring new women into your life and you’re officially consciously competent!

——-

You might continue to play the violin, and you might continue to dedicate your time to becoming better with social interactions, women, relationships, and seduction. You will play for dozens of audiences, pick up a variety of different women and meet tons of different people. You’ll build a cool social circle, and one day, you’ll wake up, and realize wow, you fluently speak a second language. The ability to play the violin is like speaking a new language. The ability to meet, attract, and seduce people is a skill analogous to fluently speaking a new language.

The thing about learning languages is that you learn the alphabet, then the grammar and how to put short sentences together, and then you learn new vocabulary for a long time… until you’re fluent, and have a wide vocabulary range. Similarly, you might already speak “pick up”, but as you gain more and more practice, and go through a variety of different experiences, you eventually become fluent at it.

That is, you become unconsciously competent. You’ll get a vibe for people rather than listening for their actual words, and your instincts will rarely ever lie.

——-

For an elaborate description of the four stage of learning, read the first chapter of Introducing NLP by John Seymour and Joseph O’Connor.

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